Thursday, June 22, 2017

How to Read a Letter in the Parking Lot When You Can't Wait Until You Get Home

I've had a string of great mail days lately. That's a big deal now since so many bloggers are abandoning their little homes on the Net. And while I do understand why they might, I cannot help but mourn the losses. My daily rituals include reading the posts in my read/follow lists for the fix I be jonesing for. Nothing is so disruptive or as unsettling as a deafening silence . . . followed by a Houdiniesque disappearance. 

I enjoy having posts delivered to my inbox, but I get a major thrill from starting at the top of My Favorite Blogs list, going down the line, reading and sipping tea as part of my day. That's my time, so you know I have the nerve to be disappointed when a favorite blogger misses a day. Don't let it go two or even three in a row. Seriously. They've got a lot of nerve! And I am not above inquiring in an e-mail, "Where are you?" Okay, not really, but I do wonder. I mean if you cannot count on a blogger, who can you count on? Bloggers, don't just abandon your home. If you're gonna quit, give us a little notice. Please and thank you. Some really great writers/photographers/storytellers dropped the keyboard. *sigh*

So, as a copper pot calling copper kettles brass, I'm deeply appreciative of the bloggers who soldier on in the face of blogger glut, burnout, choosing a none-blogging life, or whatever else came between you and us. Thank you for being a part of my reading experience.

I get a thrill when there's mail, and double delight chills when there's mail in both boxes.  And . . . a UPS delivery! On the same day! It don't get much better'n that. Okay, it don't get much better'n that unless you write a letter that starts off sluggish, and you think of waiting to write another day, but something tells you to keep on--to not waste the paper or the already-written words, and you listen. Before you're aware of where you are, or what you're doing, you've hit your stride and boom! You've written at least three whole pages, drawn some silliness in the margins, and signed your name, with "love and a hug."

Moving on . . . Here's a teachable bit about how to read a letter in the post office parking lot when you cannot wait until you get home. 

Number one:  Read a letter in the parking lot only if you think it holds the answer to a question you've been waiting for. Otherwise you might get heat stroke because the windows are up and the ac is off because you feel too guilty about sitting in a parking lot with the motor running to turn it on. Pretend it's so important you're willing to risk suffocating or baking inside a hot SUV.

Number two:  Never forget this. The thickest envelope is the one to go for first. Spread the pages in a discernible fan. That's way its importance is more convincing. 

Number three:  Read without moving your lips. People will forgive you then because you'll look like you're smart enough to know better, so they'll figure the letter has to be super important. I know I noticed someone reading a letter in the parking lot, I'd tell myself it's possibly a letter from a parole officer, an attorney, the IRS, Alf, a publisher rejecting their latest story, divorce papers . . . 

Number four:  Wear your darkest sunglasses to block out the sight of anyone who might look at you like you're nuts for being in the heat without ac on, and with the windows up. Do not make eye contact. Just read. Slowly makes it look like you're not even hot.

Number five:  When you come to the end, lovingly return the missive to its envelope, then sit there for a while, like you're too moved by what you've read to turn the key in the ignition. 

Note to self:  Nobody's ever looking at you when you think they are.  Get over yourself and go home.

I watched "Freaks" last night when I couldn't sleep. That was after I read this:

Doesn't that just wet your readin' n writin' whistle? All the Gothic novels have at least the heroine writing in a chapter or two where the sounds of a quill scratching on paper seems to fill the room. ". . . the biting hush of ink on paper" above makes one pause--in an attempt to imagine how a hush bites. Wordsmithing par excellence? Or simple slight of hand with pen? Hmm.

Such color--prettier than a tangerine. 

Feel free to expect a whale of a tale tomorrow. Or the day after. A tale of a whale's tail? Anything is possible.

The End.


  1. You make me smile. I check my blog list every morning with a cup of coffee. Many mornings I have wondered in disappointment where everyone has gone only to realized that I've not posted recently myself. Thanks for soldiering on. I enjoy my mornings with you.

    1. That's a lovely thing to say, Mrs. D. I'm better known for aggravating and being annoying. Unintentionally, I assure you, but my views is often mistaken as signs of personal gloom, despair and agony on me. So many thanks.

      I believe we all need some down time due to life's exigent needs or simply because there's life beyond blogging that deserves more time and participation. Balance is a work in progress. Blogging itself is a form of proof of life, don't you think?

      I'd share a list of several blogs as examples of UD (unexplained disappearances) but that might be seen as applying unearned pressure. I'll try to come up with a better way of letting those engaged in UD how much they are missed.

      Thanks for staying tuned to OWM.

  2. you know I love that whale right ? you know I love whales period . I have been a lil depressed lately an anniversary of a first loves death he was 19 I was 17 . We were engaged when he passed away very suddenly . It just passed and I always kind of get depressed around that time . his sister and I write all the time and she tells me what is going on with her and her family . Hard to believe she is a grandma too ...LOL oh well I will let you go awesome post btw and watch your mailbox dear closely .

    1. Yesterday, I drove for the second time this year, so you know I drove to five of my favorite stores, right?. I found that lone little whale when I followed her calls through the store. The rest of her pod was gone, so I brought her home with me. She's been grinning and singing ever since.

      Do you know a new species has been discovered, right? I wonder how man missed it all this time.

      I'm so sorry that you have such a painful anniversary. The mother in the PBS movie, My Mother and Other Strangers refuses to give her daughter the last letter from a US airman because she believes her 16 year old daughter does need the burden of going through life with such pain if the airman dies in action. It's a story that takes place during WWII in Ireland, where US service men trained. I wasn't so sure the mother had done the right thing, but your comment just tipped the scale in her favor.

      How wonderful that you've stayed in touch with his sister all this time. AND she's a grandma! :) I'll keep an eye on my mail box. Thanks for sharing your story. You be well. Hugs!

    2. you too and btw you are one of the dearest people I know . Yes his sister is awesome . well you be well and stay well please . Oh my you saved the whales LOL ...I'm sorry I could not resist ... have a great and awesome day and week .

    3. Thanks. You are so sweet. I wish it was true though.

      Hahaha! I like that. I saved a single whale to release it into a wider sea. :) You do have a way with words.

      Thanks, you too. It finally rained, so our little bit of the world is cooler and greener, and even more beautiful.