Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Bagger Ad(Vance)d

While I never watched the movie, the title is stuck in a special place in my mind. "Bagger Vance." The name conjures up a handful of interesting images with their own dimly lit little stories attached. I Googled the movie's title: 

"A disillusioned war veteran, Captain Rannulph Junah, reluctantly agrees to play a game of golf. He finds the game futile until his caddy, Bagger Vance, teaches him the secret of the authentic golf stroke which turns out also to be the secret to mastering any challenge and finding meaning in life.  Written by M. Fowler"

Okay, now I wish I'd watched it, "Bagger Vance." So I'm highjacking the title for yet another bag post. A smaller bag should make for a smaller post. Right? Here's trying:

The interior of a turned bag. It's a little like a turned spy. Shades of Home Land. So yes, you can totally turn a bag inside out without taking it apart at the seam. If you think it, you can.

Waste not, want not, and there comes a day when you'll discover unexpected ways to play with old stuff. Hopefully, some of you remember these. I am such a fan of Mother Goose and Grimm. Back when I subscribed to an actual newspaper, I made much ado of the Sunday Comics. Mother Goose and Crankshaft ran neck in nick, and Ruthie was always with me on the sidelines, laughing and clipping. The mail related clips are forever favorites so I shared. I always print leftovers which are perfect embellishments for a little bag humor. But first, here's this:

"In a comic strip published on January 2, 2009, one character wonders if the Colombian crime syndicate puts parts of the body of Juan Valdez in each can of coffee.[1][2]The comic strip refers to an advertising slogan of Colombian coffee that there's a little bit of Juan Valdez in every can of Colombian coffee.[2] In response to the comic strip, the Colombian Coffee-growers Federation made plans to sue artist Mike Peters for linking Colombian coffee to human rights abuse.[3] The Colombian Coffee-growers Federation announced it would seek at least $20,000,000 "for damage and harm, detriment to intellectual property and defamation" as well as a retraction from all newspapers that published the comic strip that day.[2] Federation President Gabriel Silva called the comic strip "a denigrating and disrespectful piece of black humor".[3] Peters responded saying that he loves Colombia, drinks Colombian coffee every day, and meant no offense or insult.[2] Peters said the comic strip is meant to be read along with the other comic strips that week, including one that refers to a can of Pringles potato chips containing the ashes of the inventor of Pringles.[2"

What would we do without wikipedia? How funny is this? I should sue the Federation for casting the color black in such a denigrating light. Black is beautiful. Night is black. Where would the moon and stars be without it? Black humor indeed. When we were kids and lived in Louisiana, we wanted morning coffee too. Adults always told us, "Coffee makes you black." Such a head scratcher it was. I looked at my parents, I looked at the waitress who held the coffee pot and repeated the same old same old; seemed like even strangers knew that warning, so it had to be true. Yet and wondered at the mystery. 

No way could all the people of color in my world drink that much coffee. My father was the color of a chinquapin while my mother looked like a cup of milk with dashes of coffee; both drank coffee. I 'd look at their arms and then my own. I didn't drink coffee, so why was I brown? My sister was a lighter shade of tan. What a senseless lie to tell a child. Daddy told me I could swim like a fish if I ate the raw fish roe I discovered the first time I watched Daddy clean fish. I grew to dislike milk unless it had Hershey's chocolate or that other brown syrup stirred in. Bosco? ?Yes, Bosco, and one other name I don't remember at the moment. It got to be so bad Mama had to order two quarts of chocolate milk from the milk man to supplement the cans of Hershey's. White milk with cereal was fine, but not for drinking. I eventually outgrew the fear but seem to have grown into being lactose intolerant. And, as it turned out, coffee gives me acid stomach so I drink tea instead. Take that, you Colombian Coffee-growers Federation!

Side one of a small WFM bag that's been turned inside-out.

A few normal rips and tears were tenderly mended. Silly Monkey didn't mind. The mail man wrote to Silly Monkey:

Dear Silly Monkey,

Stop calling! Write instead.


The Mail Man

Silly Monkey wrote back:

Dear Mail Man,

i'll stop calling if you stop answering.

Will you answer if i write?

Yours truly,
Silly Monkey

Side panels feel like extras points.

Flow makes the cutest little stamps. The dog with the balloon was a favorite. I like balloons too. And cats. You have to walk a dog. You have to change cat litter. Minuet does not flush. Apparently Flow people alike both cats and dogs, thank goodness. 

Bottom up.

Make your own stamps or . . .

. . . or go with Flow's. Canceled or  artists stamps make "more" merrier.

There's that address label again. I think I've figured out who this is for but things change. All that's left is the letter, a seal, and a trip to the post office. My stationery? Receipts! Lots of receipts. I'd staple them to the side but where's the sense in that? Aha! Never mind. I got it!

Sincerely sincere,

Writing on,


  1. I like the way we both showcased comics in Wednesday's posts! Great stories! My daddy used to tell us, "coffee will grow hair on your chest." Maybe that's why my little brother drank coffee and I didn't!

    1. GMTA! :) JC says he drank coffee as a kid just to get that promised hair on his chest. LOL. And it did not stunt his growth. He's over six feet tall. :)

  2. I'm going to take your "bag" did challenge us , didn't you? Well, anyway...I'll try to post something when I do mine. {thumbs up}

    1. Yes! :) Good for you! I look forward to seeing your creation. Thanks for taking the challenge. It's on! LOL.