Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Finding the Good In the Everyday

August One, 2016





Dear friends,



Remember when my friend Susan gave me this little gem of a book? Remember when I had all those lemons falling around me? I found the good in that. None of them fell on my head. Pamela had the vodka. Remember? I do. Like it was yesterday. The sky didn't fall, I didn't lose my mind, but I'm better at consciously seeking the good. And it's all good. 


Um, remember my studio clean-up? I never did get around to putting knobs on the little cupboard. I bought my red rug over seven years ago. I've never walked on it. Those banker boxes have seen better days. The good? See those crutches? I haven't needed them since the first time. The studio is closer to being ready too. The handmade cork board? Susan's friend Pete gave me all those corks for free, and he didn't even know me. Pete has passed on but he will never be forgotten by this stranger. 


The drawers caved from all the paper I'd hoarded. I've begun using it, and I've given some away. JC fixed the sags, reinforced the bottoms, and they're ready for lighter burdens content. See all the leaning stuff? It leans because I've gotten rid of some goodness, pulled out the Flow Books, tossed old magazines . . . Nothing new comes in until those shelves are almost bare-naked. Those boxes on top? Archived letters! The good that came from archiving? It means I've gotten and answered a whole lot of mail.


What looks like two left feet are actually reasons to sit more and do less. I was measured for a brace yesterday. The good in that? No surgery necessary! We saw a nice, friendly,  man with a body so twisted from scoliosis that the idea of the pain he endures made me ashamed of myself for thinking I had pain. I know, it's all relative but still . . . 


Today was injection day. Injection one was last week. I didn't feel a thing but I dislike the doctor so much I won't see him again after the the final injection. He was so awful I could not bear to look at him today. I refused to smile. He's a misogynist, and knew to put on a whole other mask after I asked the nurse to have JC come into the exam room with me. He even ticked him off, and JC likes almost everybody. 

Where's the good in this? Well, I was polite but couldn't seem to stop myself from blurting out a truth. I didn't see him pick up the brown bottle before he picked up hat long needle. That bottle contains the "freeze it." It numbs the injection site. So I asked if he was going to freeze me first. He chuckled like the good, kindly, unrealistic Marcus Welby and said, "But of course I'm going to freeze it," and looked at JC to see if even he was amused by what the little woman said. Before I could censor myself, I blurted, "Well, I don't trust you." 

I wanted to roll off that table! "Oh, you don't trust me now? he asked. Then he hurt me. He pushed medication in too fast too. When I winced, he said, "I'm coming out now. I'm coming out. It's all over." Meaning the needle. Last week I didn't feel a thing. Driving home, JC asked why I said I didn't trust him before the injection, and I tried to explain why I couldn't help it. It just slipped out. I'm often told that it happens a lot when you're over fifty. Self-censorship isn't worth a dang when you're my age. The good here? I could have said, "I don't like you. You're a misogynist. I don't ever have to see you again after next week, thank God. You brown nose JC because you are a coward, and you need lotion on your heels." But I didn't. 

I did ask if people ever complained of a bad taste in their mouth after the injections. When I told JC that I tasted wet chicken feathers he told me it was psychosomatic. Weeks earlier I'd Googled non-surgical options, discovered a new treatment. It just so happened cockscombs were involved. The lovely orthopedic surgeon informed me that my insurance does not pay for stem cell therapy. No, they'd rather cut me open because it's cheaper. Dang. I taste wet chicken feathers. Not that I've ever had them in my mouth, but taste and smell are too like the same thing since they're connected. Ugh! Dr. Worm said yes, some people do complain of and odd taste afterward. But who knows if he told the truth? Psychosomatic my ass! Where's the good in that? I haven't found it yet.

Thank you for listening.

Sincerely sincere,



Limner









12 comments:

  1. "We saw a nice, friendly, man with a body so twisted from scoliosis that the idea of the pain he endures made me ashamed of myself for thinking I had pain. I know, it's all relative but still . . . " We all need that reminder at times, don't we. But it still doesn't make the pain go away. You have my sympathy.
    As for the doctor - I suspect he gets his kicks out of patronising women and hurting them - so the good in that is you made his day!!! Sadly there are still plenty of misogynists around.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I appreciate your understanding. Growing up in the military we learned to suck it up, be a soldier, and if it doesn't kill you it's okay. I went to school with pneumonia just so I wouldn't have missed a day in school. I slept through class time in the nurse's office, didn't learn anything, teacher woke me to give me my meds. I should have stayed home, right?

      The doctor is from a country where women are treated as second class citizens, and it shows. If I made his day it didn't take much. First do no harm had to have been taught the day he was home kicking his donkey. Ouch. Sorry. I feel better. :) But my conscience bit me, so I paid for that. Or will pay for it later. (sigh) :D

      Delete
  2. wow I so wish right at this moment after reading all of this that I lived closer to you . Because I for one know exactly where you are coming from . My husband has no filter on his mouth and I often say no filter , none whatsoever to him . But I wont say that to you because I feel women need to say what is on their mind in all sittuations . I am woman hear me roar so to speak . I have always liked that about you being a lion so to speak .We must in all instances speak out against being terrorized by medical personal and I have had my fair share as I am sure everyone has . Good for you and who cares what anyone else thinks .Only you know if you are being abused by a medical person .Okay I'm worked up now can you tell ? LOL . It just angers me because I know there are horrible drs out there who do inflict pain and who have no compassion . Okay I'm done I think. I hope you are feeling better by this point . I love the cork board and I'm sure Pete is looking down and saying oh I'm so glad she likes it and I like what she did with those corks , I do too and what a fitting tribute to a dear friend .so to you my dear friend take care and May God watch over you and yours .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL! I wish you knew how many times I have to delete entire paragraphs because my fingers type things that are better left unwritten. There's a fine thin line between venting and being unkind. Like Johnny Cash, I try hard to walk the line. :) I want to avoid the burning ring of remorse and the molten lava pool of karma. :D But you make me laugh about some of the stink women have to deal with. Have you seen the movie Suffragettes? Wow. They were terrorists! They blew up mail boxes! I wouldn't have given them the right to vote either if they blew up my mail. LOL. They were treated with unwarranted cruelty. Dr. Worm should be made to be a slave to an entire village of Amazon for 7 years. :)

      God bless Pete. I'll keep that board for my forever.

      Thanks for stopping by. I enjoy our daily visits. And I'm glad you got your gift! I finally have your new address. Did the two letters make it safely???

      Peace.

      Delete
  3. this is just my opinion - but the *good* in unpleasant people is that we learn from them. two of my favorite quotes on the subject are:
    I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers. Khalil Gibran
    and
    If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. Catherine Aird

    i hope i do not come off as approving of bad behavior - but, it's out there - and we have to deal with it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow. Thanks for the quotes. I had a steady diet of Gibran when I lived in Colorado. I will research Aird. I suppose I am a horrible warning seeing as how I shut down more often than push back. Silence can work better than a retort, a cool come-back, or pithy remark. It's not always easy. Doing nothing is as good as giving a seal of approval to mean people. It's easier to speak out in someone else's defense but, I am learning how not to be a victim in the best way possible. Dr. Worm did not expect me to say anything, so my truth startled him a bit. The nurses heard what he said to me on the first day and one gave me a big hug when I checked out. He was loud and rude. They remembered me too, and reminded me of what we'd discussed on that first visit.

      I worked for some of the best doctors for years, in three states, and none of them were ever rude or unkind to patients. We were taught that patients paid our "salaries." First, do no harm. We handled those fecal specimen samples that tested for occult blood. Some were dangerous to handle, stank to high heaven and often made us gag, but you'd better believe we never hurt anyone's feelings over not having . . . Gagging! LOL! Time to end this. :)

      No, I'd never think you approved bad behavior. Neither should it be condoned.

      Delete
  4. I'm so sorry for your bad doctor. I had a doctor make a rude comment to me and I was mad about it for months, which isn't usually like me. Hope you feel better soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're very kind. Thank you. Cultural differences play a major role in how we interact well with others. If I even visited a foreign country you can believe I'd educate myself on their basic customs. If I emigrated I'd for sure be up on common courtesy, but a misogynist takes a lot of re-education. I hope he comes back in his next life as a woman in a country that thinks women are inferior. Then again, if our prayers are answered, there won't be any such countries by then. :)

      Thanks for you good hope. You really are kind.

      Delete
  5. hey since I just saw the good life book is that like the Pollyanna game ? you know in the movie where she tells the minister :Look for the good in people and you shall surely find it and then she says look for the bad in people and you shall surely find that as well ". I would love to read that book in the picture .I bet it has some good stories in it .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've never played the Pollyanna game, so cannot say if they are or not. Sorry. I don't recall the movie either. I'll try to remember to send you an excerpt or two from Find the Good. :) I enjoy it.

      Delete
  6. hi there I think maybe you must have sent my gift to the wrong address because you must have forgotten that I moved I no longer am at Bryton trace and have not been for a year or better . please email me for my new addy and my email is catsmeow1961@gmail.com, we bought a house .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Silly me. I got your new address from your last letter. I'm glad they forwarded my mail. :) Thanks for reminding me.

      Be well.

      Delete