Saturday, December 15, 2012

A Saturday Evening Post

How could I forget? Elaine is a 12-12-12 birthday celebrant. Well, she was on Wednesday. And I forgot. I drew this, yet I forgot. Want to know how I remembered? Our cousin, Davida told me last night. SMH. Sometimes I am totally tuned out, turned off, and blissfully ignorant. Wasn't the world supposed to end on Wednesday?

Her gift is still here. She is in the hospital now. She was admitted last night while Nephew II was wrapping gifts for me. No one knew until bedtime. Her friend, Emma, was with her. Such help from a friend is a gift in itself. With Nephew II's assistance, things went from that to . . .

This. Not bad for someone who has never wrapped a package or gift, huh? I did the bow. Nephew II did the wrapping because he didn't want my germs to tag along. So, if y'all get a gift or mail from me, please, know that it is safe to open.

Ta-da! We made a great team.

We did these . . .

And this.

Here comes Santa Claus? Dear recipient. Please pretend. Thanks in advance. After all, Santa simply represents the spirit of Christmas.

There are ten envelopes in the out box. I am not ready for Christmas. If, by chance, your gift comes after the 25th, please consider it a New Year's present, okay?

JC put up the tree! Wow. You think he might do the wreath for me as well? I went downstairs an hour ago, and wow! I plan to wrap all my gifts in white this year. I want to pretend there's snow somewhere in Katy, if only in my dreams and our living room. There are no poinsettias in front of the fire place. There are none in the kitchen. I won't pull out the little tree for the bathroom. Am I being naughty or . . . How could I resist a little holiday humor? 

How's your holiday spirit? Are your cards mailed? Are the gifts wrapped? Does your home smell like spiced winter? Do you have early snow? Have you planned your menu? How many party invites have you received? Are you hosting one of your own? Have you been naughty or nice? Me? I've been both. I told off a pharmacist, and I said two bad words. Not to her! No. Not to her. I just repeated to semi-bad words in a story someone else told me. But I did tell someone to tell someone else to kiss my donkey, in response to a message that someone sent. I should have invited the person who bore the message to do the same since they should know better than to carry such messages in the first place. I immediately felt better. There was no guilt involved; just a little shock that I said those words. 

I have no idea how kissing my donkey, if I had one, would do any good, except it dawned on me that my donkey might kick that person in the head with her right hind hoof; then that person might suffer a concussion, or even brain damage; then I would have to live with the guilt forever. More than likely the villagers would come for my donkey--wanting to put it down- 'cause it attacked a human. To save it, I would pack a bag and some hay, hop on my donkey and run away. I could tie it behind the Honda or put it in the back, because . . . Well, can you imagine me riding up to the ATM on the back of my donkey? Honda SUVs aren't big enough to hold a donkey . . . Wow.

Wow. There's a moral here. Could it be, "Never tell someone to kiss your donkey, or the donkey might get confused and kick?" Or, tell them to kiss your monkey instead? But only if you have a monkey. Wow. Then the monkey might end up like the one in the story of "The Monkey's Paw." Remember that movie? Or the poor thing might develop a smoking habit like the monkey in that movie with those guys during the bachelor's party, because no monkey is going to let someone kiss its hind parts without doing some damage in return. Oh! And what if it has a red bottom like those baboons? If it did, then it might squirt some of the oil from those sacs and . . . *oh, shudder* Well shucks. I'm stuck. 

It will be Sunday soon. I'll figure out the moral soon enough. 'Til then? Write on.


  1. My mules liked to be kissed. :-D

    Your gifts look great! Your nephew did a great job, and I love your Santa bird at the top. :D

    1. How sweet! LOL.

      Thanks for the nice comments. Will share with Nephew II. He could use positive reinforcement from someone who doesn't even know him. That goes for me too, so THANK YOU. It's been a while since I'e drawn regularly , so am rusty . :)

  2. I hope you enjoy the holidays immensely and that you feel well enough to do so! Thanks for the holiday cheer...I could really use it :)

    1. Thank you, Elle. Please know that you are as close to my heart as I can get you. I hope the holidays are all you need them to be. :)