Monday, November 19, 2012

Eating My Elephant

There is an elephant in my room. 

It sways patiently while it waits. 

It never trumpets, or poops on the floor; on occasions, it falls over onto its side. I guess it gets tired of waiting and its weight  can't be helping. My elephant is a vegetarian elephant. It is made of paper. Mostly. It needs to lose a little weight, so, I eat it with care. I tackle it one bite at a time. See how it is shrinking? 


My shrinking elephant sleeps here a lot. I think it's an Anglophile wannabe. I'm not being fair. It spends equal amounts of time in two other places; both are American. I think it likes the Union Jack box because it's different. The contents are interestingly foreign. It rolled all over Corey's bag from France. 

Anna sent me this when the UK was celebrating their Jubilee. I like those stamps. The crown is raised but you'd never know it because it arrived intact. Maybe their postal employees respect their monarch and her images, because I have never gotten damaged mail from the UK. An envelope from Houston takes its chances if it wants to travel a few miles to Kay. I'm just saying. There is a kicker coming.

The back is just as politely neat as the front. Blow me over, but you don't have to call me shorty. I'm too tall by a few inches. The kicker is yet to come.

Had I done this in art class, I'd have been laughed out of class. So much is wrong with the design, but hey, if it works it works. Why cover the . . . Never mind. But ding dong? I like the detail in . . . Is it Big Ben? No, the kicker hasn't kicked yet.

Here's the kicker. Hallmark! Now you can blow me over, and call me Shorty. If I found something so American in a Hallmark here, I'd be all over it. It just ain't fair. Anna sends me such clever, lovely, different mail stuff. I am jealous. I refuse to buy what they sell here. And I dreamed of working for them when I was a student. And why does Hallmark have a crown??? I've never asked before. Are they Anglophiles? Is that why the UK gets better paper goods? A crown. SMH. (Shaking my head. Not smacking it. I think I've done that too often.) 

There's this too. The inside has lovely white paper with punched edges that remind me of a crown. I wish I could show all of it, but then you'd read what Anna said to me. Oh. This is what's written on back:

Inspiring. Creative. Classy. Cool. Kitsch. Nostalgic. Historic. Eccentric. Charming. Cheeky. Iconic.



I need to lie down. I have more elephant to eat. 

(to be continued)


  1. Those British things are so amazing! Lucky you.. :)

    1. For real! Wait until you see what she sent for high tea. :)

      Yes, I am indeed lucky. I believe I get the best mail 'cause I have some of the best pen friends. They write good mail. :D They are kind, and generous, and understanding, and patient, and steadfast and true.