I, Norman Mailer, am posting for Limner today, since she is working seriously to beat a looming deadline. The woman works hard for her money, so I try to treat her right by doing an occasional guest blogger thing. She shows her gratitude by dropping off bags of Texas Gold, cleaning the bath, putting fresh straw in the bottom of the house, and helping out where she can.
You see, I have a small injury. Was involved in a small altercation over at Berd, Bath & Beyond last week. A jay got into it with a mockingberd. When I stepped in to break it up, my arm was darn near pecked apart. Take it from me. When berds of a different feather want to fight together, use a water hose to separate 'em.
So, my vet did his thing and I have to wear a sling for a week or three. I've been walking Limner's mail down to the mail box of late, mainly for the exercise, but it makes me feel like I'm doing something to help her out . . . And I've been noticing a colorful character hanging about. Never says anything. Just watches my movements with an eagle's eye. Not that I'm worried. I can handle myself well if push comes to shove, but I'm not an instigator. I come from a long line of fierce raptors. I served my country as a SSR or Secret Service Raptor . . . I started my own security company. For security reasons I can't reveal more than this. Am just keeping an eye out for now, and getting your mail to you while Limner does her thing.
Yours in ink,
P.S. A note to the wise: "Avian's Most Wanted" did a segment on mail bandits and thieves last week. The lurker looks an awful lot like one of those featured. So be on the lookout when you head for your mailbox. Let's be safe out there.