Thursday, January 6, 2011

She's the Lily of the Valley, She's . . .

Since this blog is meant to be about writing the old fashioned way, I wonder if it's okay to sneak in something written the new fashioned way. Well, heck, I guess writing is writing and only I can choose what to offer up here, so here goes. But in future I promise to stick with the things that come from pen and ink on paper. And I reserve the right to hold out my hand with offerings like this, laid out flat on my clean palm, as an alternative worth breaking the rule for.

Yesterday my daughter sent me an e-mail that read: "Ever search for something and find something else?  Here it is.  I can't remember what I was looking for." 

Then she offered me this link:

I followed, and I found a mother's frank, honest and open description/discussion of a precious daughter. Curious, I wrote back and asked Erin, "What is it about this story that made you want to pass it along?"

She wrote back, "I liked the honesty in her writing."

Touched, I thanked her, "Thanks for answering" 

Today, I'm a little bothered. Sometimes I cannot help what pops into my head. But instead of impatiently moving around or blocking a "pop-up" and moving on, I thought about this one. A lot. I feel better today. Pain isn't the all-in-all of this day, so I'm able to think with more clarity and concentrate better. I am more solid today. So why does it also mean I see questions hovering over that entire tiny segment of time that weren't there yesterday?

Yesterday, all I saw was my daughter wanting to share some great writing with her mom. It was also about me wondering what prompted her to share this particular piece, instead of just thanking her, and going on about how and why I loved it. But I didn't. Instead I wanted to hear what she had to offer. That's a coup considering how we all know just how long-winded I can be.

Today is a different side of the same Buffalo nickel. I read Erin's one liner and now I wonder if she had an ulterior motive. Was she hinting that my own writing about her isn't honest? What was she "hunting" for when she found the Lily piece? Has she ever written to say she likes what I write? Now wait. Before you start thinking it's a mother's jealousy, ask yourself if you're not curious, too? And the answer is, yes, she has. Not often. But on occasion. 

I've come right out in the open and confessed that sometimes I lie. I told you how I'm capable of taking a lie and dressing it up. I do it to make a telling more palatable. I twist certain things to protect the innocent. Like not using real names. Sheesh. Guess it's too late to recheck the truthfulness of that one. Wow. 

But in my defense, I have not leaked any state or family secrets. I have not defamed anyone's already lame character. And if I say it's the truth, then I take refuge in knowing I did not lie or cause harm. And-and. . . I have not used anyone's name alongside a lie. If it's written here, it's true. Most of it is anyhow. Okay, ninety-nine point nine percent is. The rest is disguise to protect the innocent. And me from liability. 

Now that I've raked my own ass over the coals . . . And BTW, I do not say bad words. Ass is in the Bible! So stop saying I'm PG. Lest your ass get raked in them too, for saying things about me that aren't true. Ok? Okay then.

So. As much as I enjoyed that moving entry the mom wrote about her lovely girl yesterday, today I'm wincing almost as much. Can't help wondering how Lily will feel when she is older and she reads the same words we're reading today. BTW, isn't she lovely? In that photo. And isn't she pretty much like any kid? Still and all, I do not think Miss Lily is going to like being exposed to all of us. And, if she doesn't, I hope she'll write to me and ask if I will teach her how to make a proper fist, how to throw a rock with dead-on accuracy, or even how to write the hell out of someone's meanness. 

Oh, snap! Read the comments offered in response to Lily's mom's piece on Lily! Well, dang! Why am I the only one who doesn't feel the way they all do. 

Afterword: Mumblings and moving on . . .

Me: Shucks, I'd better think before I react. What if I'm wrong? 

Me, Too: Yeah? Well what if they're the ones wrong?

Me: Well, I'm just saying, you know how my brain is wired all different and ass backward most times. What if I misinterpreted what Lily's mom wrote.

Me, Too: Girl, everything is open to personal interpretation. Stop trying to be a lemming. We're allowed to bring our own weapons to a gun-fight. We're allowed to bring our own feelings, insight, opinions and experiences to a reading, too. Sometimes I think you're just looking to screw with your own head. 

Me: Wha-a-t?

Me, Too: Oh, don't "what" me. You know exactly what I'm saying. You did the same thing yesterday when you said what you did in the comments on that blog about being an adrenaline junkie. Everyone before you said how great it felt being one. You wrote the truth. And you wrote that truth from personal experience.

Me: Well, yeah. Aren't we supposed to share what we've learned, even if it's contrary to popular belief?

Me, Too: 

Me: Well? Aren't we??? Why won't you answer?

Me, Too:

Me: Girl, sometimes you work my nerves down to their very atoms! Let's go start dinner. You know you haven't eaten all day. And we both know you remember what Dr. Wanda Wise, O-Bird, and even Dr. She said about eating balanced meals through-out the day. Get your sorry ass in gear!

Me, Too: Oh, hush, I'm right behind you!

Singing: She's the Lily of the valley, she's the bright and morning star . . .

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